I was single from the age of 39 to 47 and during this time I stumbled upon someone from my childhood on Facebook. While we were getting caught up on approximately 30 years of absence, I told her that I was single and an empty nester and I was living alone for the first time in my life. Before I could share my enthusiasm, she cut in and said, “I am so sorry, you will find someone.”
I didn’t understand why she insinuated so quickly that my singleness was something to apologize for. I have been single before and wasn’t content with myself or my situation. I have also been a single parent and assuredly know the stress that can come with that life. But, during this phase of my singleness I was content and enjoying life. I had friends, a social life, I was active in the church and volunteered in my community. I gave myself away in many healthy ways and intentionally surrounded myself with good company.
Life isn’t perfect and I certainly had some obstacles that singles frequently face but I don’t remember dwelling in them. I do remember keeping busy to avoid dullness of time while I also remember enjoying empty time. I remember money being tight transitioning to living on a single income and my employer announcing job cuts. I can honestly say I felt fear for a quick moment before I remembered I trust in the Lord.
Why do single and married people automatically think singles aren’t happy?
If we can’t be happy with ourselves in singleness, we won’t be content or contribute much value in a marriage.
Phil 4:11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.