Dear Single Christian,

Dear Single Christian,

My writing stick is in action as I, once again, question today’s world of dating. Dating is a serious activity most of us participate in to some degree during our lives. Some only date and have no intentions of taking a relationship any further. While others date simply to take every relationship further.

What is your purpose in dating?

What are your dates intentions of dating?

Some reasons I have seen for dating are:

  • To gain attention from another for themselves
  • To run a selfguided search for that special someone
  • To gain a self-worth through an active dating life
  • To occupy themselves with something to do

Yes, I have witnessed daters that date with no specific purpose other than themselves.

If you are a regular reader, you know I have a passion for single Christians. So, I will get straight to the point with a few questions for single Christians in the dating world, in hopes they remember that satan is running around the world searching to devour us. And he will attack us as individuals and attack the family by devouring us before the family begins, by devouring the world of dating.

If we don’t know our own intentions, what will we become in response to our dates intentions? Simply a satisfaction to one of those shallow and selfish reasons to date listed above?

If your date is not allowing Christ to lead their dating life and you aren’t either, what is the future outlook?

As a Believer, the concept of surrendering oneself is the beginning of putting Jesus in the center of our lives. Jesus says He fulfills all our needs and we are to take our cares to Him. What does your dating life look like when you trust Him and surrender your dating life to Him?

Does the concept of surrendering your dating life to Him scare you?

Please feel free to respond,





  1. Hello Tracy

    I love your posts and the fact that you’re encouraging purity in relationships. I’m 22 years old and I’m dating. I feel like most times women think that they don’t have a voice in relationships. I say that because it is a male that decides to marry you or not. In our minds we feel we need to do everything we can to keep him happy.
    When that’s actually a wrong approach. Because it’s so easy to give in to sexual immorality when you love someone that much.
    We’re considered selfish when we put our needs and our standards.
    I feel that in my spirit we shouldn’t be afraid to lose anyone no matter how close you are, because we may lose ourselves in the process.


    1. Zaarh, Welcome and Thank you for sharing. I would like to elaborate and support a few of your points.
      I agree, women frequently feel a lack of control. But in reality, when we have self-control, we have all the control we need. We tend to see situations and relationships clearer when we have control of ourselves too.
      Quite often, we also tend to feel in control when truthfully, we are nowhere near being in control. And if we don’t have self-control, who or what is controlling us? There’s a thought to ponder.
      I also frequently see us confuse a boyfriend for a husband and our needs and our standards should come before a boyfriend. (When it comes to our needs and standards in a marriage, well, that’s an entirely different post and possibly even another blog site altogether…lol) Sometimes we get this concept confused and end up giving ourselves as a wife to a boyfriend when they have no right to have the privilege of being anything more than a boyfriend. Then, by the time our opportunity to be a wife to a valuable husband comes along, we’ve already given ourselves away as such.
      I love your example of the wrong approach we sometimes take and would like to further support your point by stating: Yes, the male decides to marry us or not, BUT we decide to marry him or not.
      Giving into sexual immorality is simple without Jesus being in the center of the relationship. Without Him, the most our relationships will be, is nothing more than what is acceptable to society.
      Your last sentence is powerful and filled with truth! “I feel that in my spirit we shouldn’t be afraid to lose anyone no matter how close you are, because we may lose ourselves in the process.” Great comment!
      I have read your blog a few times and thought I was following, but discovered I was not. Now I am! Thank you


  2. We should most certainly do a blog site together lol. I feel it would be very powerful. I loved it when you say we also decide if we marry him or not. Which means we do have control.
    We definitely need to know when to be a girlfriend and when to be a wife.

    Thank you for responding to my comment and thanks for following me.


  3. My question on the issue of surrender is, “how far do we go in the way we interpret that?” The contrast in Matthew 19:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 are sufficient to base a case for a choice to remain single or get married on without some kind of divine lightning bolt that says God wants you to do one thing or another. One individual who taught at a Bible college I attended noted that trying to figure out whether or not it’s God’s will for a person to date/stay single is like asking if he wants you to eat an apple or an orange. Sure, we should put Christ in the center and let him be in charge. But he’s given his followers more freedom on what they’re going to do than people acknowledge. I’ve heard some even preach against any choice on your part, as though you’ll be forced into relationships by God whether you want it or not.


  4. Dating is always serious business. As a Christian, I would say the whole point is probably marriage. But a lot of people just are not too serious. If approached without caution you’re asking for trouble in the form of a major heartache.


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